Wat Pho

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My dear readers,

I’m thrilled to see that so many of you are reading my posts—I hope I’m at least somewhat entertaining!

I realize that the things that seemed so important to me before I left are now nothing but trivialities…

I thought I had to fit into a box like everyone else—you know that; you’ve told me so many times: “You’ll find someone, you’ll start a family, you’ll finally be happy that way,” blah, blah, blah! But no, I don’t have a box of my own… I need freedom; I can’t be locked up in a cage.

I almost got fooled once again—yes, I’m a softie, I know that… No matter how much I tell myself it won’t happen to me… It happens when I least expect it, it hits me like a ton of bricks because I want to believe in it… I was convinced he was the one… Because we’d known each other for so long… That I’d been convinced he wouldn’t hurt me, that he wouldn’t break my heart like the others… And yet, I often say that I don’t believe in Care Bears or Disney fairy tales… Rather, I prefer the ones that end badly, like Andersen’s fairy tales or the real stories meant to scare children… Or maybe there’s no happy ending for the villains?… Okay, fine, I’m not one of them… But I still need to find a rhythm of acceptance that doesn’t send my mental state on a rollercoaster ride—especially since it’s not always made of steel! What I’ve learned from my mistakes is that it’s better to be friends with me than to be my enemy—or worse, my partner! I did laugh about it, though… I’m talking about all this because I dreamed about it last night… I dreamed about him… About an earthquake and my isolation…

All that to say that I’m honestly happy to be here—and happy about my breakup, as silly as it may be! Oh well!!

Anyway… Yesterday, November 9, starving as I was, I headed out to the suburbs to check out the street food stalls and had breakfast there… I have to admit that so far I haven’t been to any restaurants, just the street stalls. After a long walk full of discoveries… The suburbs are a whole other world. I stumbled upon Wat Yan Nawa. I couldn’t find any information about the place; I just know that the temple boat was named after a king who had a knack for business and ran a thriving trade with China… As for the temple I visited, I know it must have been built around the same time as the ancient capital of Ayutthaya—so sometime around 1300 AD.

Finally, I boarded a boat to head toward the Grand Palace and, most importantly, to visit Wat Pho, one of the largest and oldest temples—that famous temple where the Reclining Buddha (43 m) is located.  It’s important to know that the Buddha has nearly 180 different postures, each signifying a different level of meditation… This one represents the final stage before parinirvana.

It was a long morning during which I stayed there trying to soak up the atmosphere of the place, while tourists took photos without really looking at the details and the symbolism of the site;  I preferred to sit near the row of Buddha statues in the lotus position so I could soak up their wisdom as much as possible… After a long walk and dealing with the unbearable crowd of tourists—including a couple who approached me to demand that I take their picture without even saying thank you—I gave them a big smile and said, “Learn to say thanks!” Those damn disrespectful tourists! Whereas Thais thank you or smile at you on the street without asking for anything in return!

I couldn’t stay any longer on that side of the river. I took the boat back to the other side—I wanted to visit the great Wat Arun… But I didn’t have the energy. It wore me out so much that I went back to Sathorn for a walk. I had dinner at the so-called restaurant at the Daneel Hostel, which is at the end of the neighborhood; I went back to take a shower and… I collapsed.  It was barely 9 p.m.

What a day!

Yours truly, Ninve

Anyway, tomorrow, I’m moving to a new place—I found one not far from Lumphini Park… Too bad—I really liked the neighborhood I’m in <3